Still A Virgin?!?

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I can't tell you how many times, since I've reached a sex appropriate age, I've been asked that question. (Since I think my daddy is reading this I have to say that I'm sure he believes I'm yet to reach that age. 27 right dad?) Or gotten that shocked reaction when I say that I am. YOU'RE still a virgin?!?! Why does that surprise you so much? It's not like I'm a huge whore... or maybe it's that condescending version Awwh. That's cute. Hang on to it.  Fuck. You. Don't patronize me.

Yes, okay, fine. I still have my V card. Mainly because I've had no desire to give it to anyone thus far. I came close recently (apparently tipsy me is a horny slut...in case you were wondering) but, alas, my homie, Jesus, (pronounced Hey-suus) was looking out. It's not like I'm really holding onto it until marriage...per say. I've maintained it for so long, it just seems stupid to throw it away at this point. My new company members at CO think that I'm one night of debauchery away from an artistic breakthrough. Well that makes me feel good... I have to wait to have great sex to get better at dancing...  damn =(  Yes, I'm a twenty year old virgin; but at least I know that the man who does eventually get my virginity, will give me damn good sex. =) Which is all that really matters.

I'm a Scorpio. According to Tyrese in Signs of Lovemaking (which is a great song if you haven't heard it recently)  by nature I am ridiculously sexual. I exude a natural sensuality- I suppose- that commands and demands attention. Which, sometimes unfortunately, I get. It must be my subconscious and thus far untapped physicality that calls so much to the guys. Who knows, really? Not me. But they love to watch me walk away ( I bend and snap*)

Right. Back to virginity. Several cities are currently running billboards advertising a hotline for virgins to call, if you need help that is. What kind of help does it offer? Well, I'm glad you asked. I called - not because I was interested in the "help" - I just wanted to know what the point was. I'm happy to report that it was actually quite entertaining. The billboards and the phone number are part of the marketing campaign for Sony's new movie The Virginity Hit about guys helping their friend lose his virginity. Apparently these billboards have been flagged as offensive and some state governments are attempting to get them removed.

But why? I mean for some backward reason in our great prudish nation, sex sells. Why yes, I would like to buy whatever the hell that beautiful half naked man is selling. Duh. If you wear Old Spice you will smell like a man, man. And the man my man could smell like, makes me want a man who smells like a  man...man. And wearing Axe makes good girls go bad. No matter how dirty your balls are, Axe body wash will help you clean them so they're more enjoyable to play with...then girls will jump your bones.

I'm sure there's some lesson in advertising in there...but that's not really my point right now. The point is sex is overly abundant everywhere.

Maybe that coupled with a less intelligent view on reverse psychology is what makes men think "no" means "I'm being coy". I'm not. Here's a story. I'm headed out. Waiting for the train to East new York. It's 1 AM.
Man: damn girl.
Me: .....
You have a boyfriend
Yep (No hesitation. DO NOT HESITATE! I swear they can smell a lie if not delivered confidently)
What can I do? He take care of you?
Oh yes.
Everything you need
Yes.
You're sure. How can I oblige you?
... ignored.
Is he better than me
what the...? I really can't say
Want to try?
Absolutely not.
Why Not?
I have a boyfriend...I'm not that kind of girl
I think you're playing. 
I'm not.
I think you want to give me some.
That is not at all true. What I wish I said Please take your chapped lips and rotting teeth out of my personal space before I punch you in the face.

Ironically, a quite enjoyable night/early morning was sandwiched between this unfortunate event and my walk of shame - minus the shame part - the next morning. I got an escort to the train. A kind fellow got out of his car, since I wouldn't get in, and walked me to the subway station. And then a late thirties asked if I was married and blessed my day when I said I was uninterested. *sigh* Such is my life. And if you're in for a laugh give the Virgin hotline a call. Tis quite amusing.

The rest is still UNwritten.