I Cannot Go Unchaperoned

Evidently at 20 years old I still need a chaperone on a day to day basis. It's a shame that I can't walk out my front door in any sort of apparel without garnering some sort of observation. There are some attentions that even a self proclaimed attention whore could do without. 


I've spent the last three years of my life trying to figure out how to get the "Talk to me, Please! I'm interested" that's tattooed somewhere on my person off. Because I figure there must be something that signals them, and it's certainly not me. I don't smile or speak or even make eye contact. WHY DOESN'T MY LACK OF RESPONSE INSULT YOUR MALE EGO?? I'm not interested. Leave me alone.


Quite recently I was subjected to a one sided conversation from the subway platform at Union Square to 33rd Street. It's almost like that time I was followed for 45 minutes from Greenwich to Gramercy, but not quite, because I found them amusing. This time I did not look at said person. We made NO eye contact, I was listening to my iPod for heaven's sake. I didn't even know we were having a conversation until he tapped my shoulder. 
Me: Ummm what?
Sir: mumble mumble murmur murmur
Me: ...okay?
Sir: murmur murmur mumble mumble


I go back to listening to music. Unfortunately, I can't help but notice that his mouth is still moving. Finally- FINALLY!!- he stands to get off the train. He takes me hand - EW!- and bids me farewell. My life! Why??


This happens to me daily. When I'm coming out of rehearsal: Mm girl, I can make you sweaty. When I'm going to the gym: Can I work you out? Heaven forbid I walk out of the house wearing a reasonable ensemble. Because then I have "a confident walk" when I'm looking "sexy as hell." What makes it okay for them to talk to me like that and then I'm an arrogant bitch for not responding? 


Well news flash: AYE GIRL is not the way to speak to any female. Now don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not above using my feminine wit and charm to get what I want. Dinner, Movie, Physical labor, Work, Affection, Bedding. Yes it even works on my Dad - Though I think that has more to do with being Daddy's little girl than my extensive charm.


Also, I think I get work because I'm such a witty and charming person. =) I mean I love to banter - which I was recently informed is actually me flirting- with my gay managers, with the male massage therapists, with my coworkers, with the clients at the spa. Everyone loves a good banter with a worthy opponent. I've found that a well placed smile can pretty much negate anything bad I may have said... to the point that the poor person I just insulted isn't even aware of what just happened. 


I do love to play the bitchy role when I'm acting. It's way more fun than being the good girl. Mind you, the bitch is never the main character - unfortunately for me- but I can get over it. As long as I get to make witty comebacks. I got a part in a short film back in April. It was supposed to film in May. Then June. Then when I was gone in July. Then in August. Now in September. I'm not holding my breath. But I'm pretty sure the director just gave me the part because he thinks I'm cute. And he likes that I'm a dancer. Because Lord knows I f---ed that audition up. I've been interviewed on his radio show, and for his TV station. I even have a script. I get all this advanced privileges and I don't even have to go to the boring production meetings. Yayy me!!


I guess that in the right setting I can turn up the charm and flirt mercilessly with the opposite sex. I suppose the flirting seeps out even in the situations when I don't want it to. Because hey! In the end, a Scorpio woman can drown you in her passion. I guess I really do need a chaperone... :-) oh well. 


The rest is still UNwritten