Hello, My Name Is ____Epiphany_____

And I have no desire to get married and have babies.

There. I said it. Sorry, I'm not sorry?

I don't want to get married. And I don't want to procreate. And I don't want to move away from New York, and settle down in a house with a picket fence and a sensible eco friendly car.

I don't want to engage anyone else in idle chatter about how their day was. Or attempt to explain, in any coherent fashion, what it means to be a background actor in SAG-AFTRA. I don't want to support anyone emotionally or financially; and if I did, I assure you, I would get a puppy and not a boyfriend. 

None of that. I want to live in my apartment in a still sketchy but slowly gentrifying area of Brooklyn. I want to pay $1300 (but subject to change at management's will) in rent for the rest of my life. I want to dance and act and model and never set foot in a corporate office for a 9-5 job. Unless they hire me to smile at them for $25+ an hour. Then I'd go...

I want to hire a manager to handle the boring day-to-day events of my life. And to, you know, talk to people for me. So I can solely focus on the most important person in my life. MYSELF!!

At least I'm honest about it. I make no excuses or even pretend to care that the only person that matters in my decision making process, is me. I am so totally and completely self centered. And that's okay. Because I know exactly what I want, and even more I know what I DON'T want. 

I know I'd rather walk around naked than save a couple hundred bucks by having a roommate.  

I know I'd rather work 15 hour shoot days than work 8 hours in a cubicle wanting to stab my eyeballs out. 

I know I'd rather go out at 11 PM than be someone's mom.

and

I know I don't want to watch my life as it passes by; wishing I'd had the balls to make my work something I really love.

So instead, I will take week long vacations to Cabo San Lucas  Cartegena, Colombia. Work when I want to, on what I want to. Lay in bed all damn day drinking wine straight from the bottle. Eat. Sleep. and Perform. I will be who I am, exactly the way I am. And while I may wonder how anyone feels they can be responsible for another living creature, (I went on vacation and my goldfish died...) I'll try not to judge you... openly.



the rest is still UNwritten...