Tell The People

Something They Don't Know About Me

My kindness is mistaken for weakness. All the time. 

I don't like many people; but I am beyond loyal, caring and supportive to the people I love. 

I stopped outwardly expressing sad emotions 15 years ago. 

It took me 2 hours in an acting class to be able to talk about that time he took all my stuff. 

I still don't understand.

Just because I don't express them, doesn't mean I don't have feelings. 

They can be hurt.

My mother is still my best friend. And probably always will be.

I'm handy. I spent 2 weeks in Peru, building bathrooms out of adobe.

My name is Epiphany. None of your jokes about it are witty or original. 

I'd appreciate if you could remember that...

the rest is still UNwritten...

Hello, My Name Is ____Epiphany_____

And I have no desire to get married and have babies.

There. I said it. Sorry, I'm not sorry?

I don't want to get married. And I don't want to procreate. And I don't want to move away from New York, and settle down in a house with a picket fence and a sensible eco friendly car.

I don't want to engage anyone else in idle chatter about how their day was. Or attempt to explain, in any coherent fashion, what it means to be a background actor in SAG-AFTRA. I don't want to support anyone emotionally or financially; and if I did, I assure you, I would get a puppy and not a boyfriend. 

None of that. I want to live in my apartment in a still sketchy but slowly gentrifying area of Brooklyn. I want to pay $1300 (but subject to change at management's will) in rent for the rest of my life. I want to dance and act and model and never set foot in a corporate office for a 9-5 job. Unless they hire me to smile at them for $25+ an hour. Then I'd go...

I want to hire a manager to handle the boring day-to-day events of my life. And to, you know, talk to people for me. So I can solely focus on the most important person in my life. MYSELF!!

At least I'm honest about it. I make no excuses or even pretend to care that the only person that matters in my decision making process, is me. I am so totally and completely self centered. And that's okay. Because I know exactly what I want, and even more I know what I DON'T want. 

I know I'd rather walk around naked than save a couple hundred bucks by having a roommate.  

I know I'd rather work 15 hour shoot days than work 8 hours in a cubicle wanting to stab my eyeballs out. 

I know I'd rather go out at 11 PM than be someone's mom.

and

I know I don't want to watch my life as it passes by; wishing I'd had the balls to make my work something I really love.

So instead, I will take week long vacations to Cabo San Lucas  Cartegena, Colombia. Work when I want to, on what I want to. Lay in bed all damn day drinking wine straight from the bottle. Eat. Sleep. and Perform. I will be who I am, exactly the way I am. And while I may wonder how anyone feels they can be responsible for another living creature, (I went on vacation and my goldfish died...) I'll try not to judge you... openly.



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Just. Say. No

Dear Sirs.

I am exhausted of being subjected to inappropriate interactions while you vie for my attention. Don't look at me like I'm a cold-hearted bitch because I demand respect. So I've come up with a list of  unacceptable behaviors. Should you actually wish me to acknowledge your presence... find. Another. Conversation. Starter.

Do NOT:

• Call at/to me from down the street. Because you look like an idiot, hollering at someone that is ignoring you. And yes, I am ignoring you. 

• Hiss, click, snap, or make kissing sounds at me. Since I'm not a domesticated animal, I think you're looking for your pet.

• Honk at me from a red light, pull up beside me, or otherwise stop traffic to ask me ANYTHING. a) I feel like you might try to kidnap me. b) My mommy told me not to get in the car with strangers

• Advise an adjustment for my demeanor "You should smile more!"  Fuck. Off.  :) 

• Stand in front of my treadmill trying to hold a conversation. Really? I stop talking to the people that I like while I'm at the gym. Why would I talk to you? While I'm trying to run.

This guy has the right idea. "Hey asshole, women are human beings." If you want a woman, treat her like a lady.

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Food For Thought

Why is it, in today's society, we consistently blame victims instead of calling into question the actions of the perpetrator?

Why do people tell me not to "dress like I'm asking for it" instead of teaching boys that when I'm "asking for it" I'll use my words?

Why are black mothers so concerned about their sons being victimized by police, but not their daughters being victimized by their sons?

Why would we EVER condemn a woman for her own assault?

Why can't I walk down the street without some scrub (defined by TLC --as in "I don't want no..,") yelling at me from the car, the stoop, inside barber shop, across the street?
"Hey beautiful, you know you want some."
In reply I refer to the previous lyric.

Why are women still being photo shopped to be taller and thinner in magazine photos?

Why are conservative "pro-life" *cough* anti-choice *cough* advocates so concerned about what I'm doing with my body; but don't give 2-cents (and I do mean literally) to the millions of foster kids, orphans, and victims of child abuse in the US?
If they worried more about the unwanted babies that are already in the world and less about the unborn parasite in someone else's body there might be less children yearning for adoption in this country. And also maybe fewer sociopaths...

What kind of world do we live in, that the men and women that have sworn to protect and serve, have abused that power so much that now they have to wear body cameras?

Why are the murders of young black men by police called "accidental shootings"?
-"I'm sorry. I accidentally raised my gun and pulled the trigger repeatedly. I didn't think he would die..."
-Is that now a viable defense? Could I use that in a trial?

Why can a group of white men enter a Walmart toting honest-to-God assault rifles, and a black man holding a toy gun is shot dead?

And as the wave of gentrification washes through Flatbush Brooklyn (read there are so many white people), why am I still more afraid of being accosted by police than the annoying men that harass me whenever I leave my apartment.

These thoughts are decidedly more political than I usually write about. But this is what I'm thinking.

the rest is still UNwritten...