When I Grow Up

I wanna be famous. 
I wanna be a star. 
I wanna be in movies.

I feel like after I turned 20, my birthdays have become progressively anti-climatic. I mean, for 20 I did it in a big way. Party at Bourbon Street, 2nd floor reserved for the Epiphany Party. 365 Days and Counting... I was celebrating my 21st birthday, the bar just didn't know I was celebrating a year early :-)

When I was underage I would flip out if I was carded. I'd cajole, and flirt, and try to reason my way out of showing my fake. Why? Because that's what you do when you're trying to get away with being bad. But alas, you're only bad if you get caught. So that makes me a good girl...right? *wink*

Being pretty can get you a lot of things in this world-- it's a sad but true fact of life. Being a pretty girl... man...the things I'm tempted with.
I'm sorry, you want to buy me what? Indeed. It happens, and I'm not just talking drinks at the bar on that gentleman in the corner. Shoes, clothes, little mementos... I've got them all. And for what? A little bit of my attention. I can do that. A little bit of my #@*$&? *gasp* What?! I am a good girl :-)

But I'm digressing. What I want to say is that as I get older, I constantly feel like I have to get my life together. There are many a day when I reflect on where I am in my life, and how much more I want to do. I want to be on Broadway. I want to be in a movie (like for real, not as background). I want to go on tour with cirque, or on a cruise ship. Basically I just want to work. Big works. A lot. As in all the time.

Unfortunately, pretty girl that I am, on a good day I look about 17. On my best day, with make-up, older people, and grown up clothes I can pass for 20...ish. I will unfailingly be carded for the next 10 years. In an audition I wouldn't say that I have an exotic look, but more often then not I'm type cast out for whatever reason I don't fit what they're looking for. For every yes I've ever received in auditions there have probably been 8.8 nos. 


How is that relevant? Well when I finally grow up, and can pass for 20s instead of 15.
I'm gonna be Famous. 
I'm gonna be A Star. 
I'm gonna be in Movies. 


the rest is still UNwritten...