Et tu, Brute?

What is it about us as individuals that we can turn on those that care for us, love us, or even those people that just help us along. Why as a race, or species, are we capably of such subterfuge? Animals, they aren't that petty. They don't have the capacity to hurt without reason. We have the capacity to completely ruin someone over a minor slight. We slander reputations out of jealousy. We ridicule people because they're different. We despise others because we envy what they have, while we have not. And we take advantage of generosity, like leeches, sucking a person dry before falling off completely stuffed.

How is it that we can betray those around us. And for what? The small comfort that we have bested them? The satisfaction of a job well done? Giving into those deadly sins of Pride, Envy, Greed, Rage, and Gluttony.

To turn on an acquaintance, someone who has put their trust in you, is bad enough. But to turn treacherous on your best friend, your lover, your family, what could possibly prompt us to violate such a precious relationship? How can we become so engulfed in envy, so lost in lust, that we cheat on our significant others -- husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends. It doesn't matter if it meant nothing; I almost think that might be worse. You ruin something, with someone you "love"; over something that was nothing, with somebody who is nobody.

The girls and I were together again yesterday evening. While in Sweden we would lay in our respective bunks and have seriously philosophical conversations. It was deep, and I think we're all closer for it. But last night, as we waited for our audition time slot (it came and went during this talk, btw, because they were running 40 minutes late) we created hypothetical situations.

1. If you cheated on your boyfriend would you tell him? Is telling out of guilt selfish, when you'll never do it again, and it would crush him? What if it was long ago, before your relationship was exclusively established? 
2. You're having an affair with a married man. It's your best friend's husband. What the hell kind of friend are you?
3. Your boyfriend is cheating on you. Do you want to know? What if it's a serial thing?
4. You're engaged to be married, do you tell your future husband about every guy you've ever been with?

Ironically this conversation didn't spark this particular blog, but it did feed in quite nicely. While none of us had personally been in these situations it was interesting to talk them through and get everyone's opinions. Simmers said she's writing a book #151--the guy she's finally going to marry-- and numbers 1-150 that came before him. 

What really planted this seed was my mom. She's given the board of ballet tech ohio performing arts association DBA arts innovation movement: aim cincinnati, her vast experience in PR and marketing free of charge since 1997. She was President of the board, Producer, and then Executive Producing Artistic Director. She worked a full time job for the majority of the time she was working with the company, and volunteered all of her free time to the stressful business of running a company. She brought it from some rinky-dink studio company to an internationally known affair. The Gala of International Dance Stars? All her. You had a dance career that started on stage at the Aronoff Center Jarson Kaplan Theater-- thank Marvel. 14 years of single-handedly keeping the association afloat, through diva Artistic Directors, a long line of Executive Directors, creating a headquarters for a non-profit organization, and maintaining and growing a community center.

Suddenly, things aren't going so well. A slothful board doesn't want to honor the contract the company signed with world class dancers. They want to file for bankruptcy because they're too lazy to do some fundraisers. They want to create a new position, and take the little money left in the account to pay themselves-- for their mediocre performance and selfish indulgences. They dare to fault my mother, and all that she's done for them, for their failures. 

It was her that offered you a job, when you had no money. She that paid you, sometimes from her own pocket, for your choreography when you'd never seen a dime for dancing. Marvel that opened her building and her arms to a bunch of kids no one else would give the time of day. After all these things, the board asked Marvel Gentry Davis, president for 14 years to step down. They thought things would be better if she weren't in charge. More like she wouldn't be able to stop the stupidity from running the company into the ground. It was this situation that planted the thought that's been niggling the back of my mind for the past week. How could they bite the hand that fed them so? Was it envy? Were they jealous of all the things my mother is that they were not?

The board insidiously tried to suck everything that my mom offered, then turned on her. They used and used and used her, and finally her reservoir was empty. The board wanted to keep her on, to sustain them, even while they proclaimed things would be "better" were she but out of the way. She's a better person than I am, and for that, the board should be thankful. I'm indignant on her behalf, and she's far better off without the weight bearing down on her. Did you mistake the kindness for weakness? Faster than the collective board could say "oh shit" she walked completely away, denouncing all affiliation. She is gracious. I am not. On behalf of my mother, to the treacherous people who betrayed her out of envy, jealousy, resentment or ignorance, I give you my one-fingered-salute; and my resignation. 

It hurts so much more when someone we like is the one serving the betrayal. People we love may be pissed in our honor; but the person betrayed, all they can think is Et tu, Brute? 

the rest is still UNwritten...