You Are Sixteen Going On Seventeen

Today I was talking to my Mommy. My relationship with Marvel has already been established, but for those of you just joining (and not reading, Previously In Epiphany's Blog) my mom and I have a strong if unusual mother-daughter relationship. She's still my best friend. And I'm still her daughter. We talk about everything. What can I say? She's a cool mom.

We were talking about a lot of things-- you can cover a lot of topics in 45 minutes. I was lamenting the fact that sometimes because of how young I look I'm typed out of some castings. I'm 21 years old, but even on my best nights I look 18. And I often times look younger. My older cousin has 20 month old daughter, "it seems like yesterday you were her age," she said. *Sigh* What fond memories I have of been a child in the Gentry Family. Well, I don't really remember, but there are pictures enough of my cousins and me that I know roughly what was going on. We were cute.

Darn kids. Grow up so fast. Like I said, I'm 21. 21 years ago, my family celebrated its first Umoja weekend-- our family reunion. I was still an infant, and Jay was just a little older than that, no more than a toddler. A lot has changed since then. My newest niece is 9 weeks old, I haven't seen her in person yet, but my seester texts me pictures every week, and we can skype. I've not had to leave New York. Going to Chicago to see my grandmother was like, the biggest deal in my young childhood.

6 weeks

Morenikke Delaney April 26, 2011

So back to tonight and me lamenting my fortunate genes that allow me to look so young. My mom was telling me how at Umoja weekend, yesterday she told my aunt that before she knew it, my 8-year-old cousin, Nikke (not to be confused with Morenikke, who's nickname is also Nikke, but pronounced differently) would be wearing a bra. And my aunt said that Oh! Nikke already wears bras for her "breast buds" 

Now, I'm sorry, but what the heck are those? There are stages, Mom was told, that progress through puberty. Two sophisticated ladies that we are, and we didn't know what "breast buds" were. So, naturally, I googled it. Mind you I just went through puberty, it hasn't even been 10 years and already there is a new name for it. When I was younger you wore a training bra, once you got some substance behind your little mosquito bites. My cousin wears a "bra" and she's a flat chested as any 8-year-old ought to be. Why, little girl, do you want to wear a bra so badly? I opt out of them as often as possible, and I know tons of women who wish they could.

Here's what my research found. When I started searching google actually suggested Stages of Breast Buds. Why thank you, oh knowledgeable internet. At http://www.female-puberty.com I found all the information a girl could want on pubescent boobs! Annnnd everything else puberty related. Here's a small lesson, for those of you who haven't been through puberty in awhile. Times are changing, best keep up with the fads.

Regardless of when you start to get them, puberty breasts are one of the most obvious signs, to you and others, that you are becoming a woman. It is often the first sign that you have started puberty.

When you were a little girl, there wasn't much to distinguish you from the boys when you ran around without a shirt. Things are about to change. Over the next three to four years of breast development, your breasts are going to swell and grow until they are fully developed.

What are the stages of Breast Development?

Doctors have made it easy for you to identify where you are at in your breasts development by putting it into 5 stages. Try and figure out which stage you are in now.

Stage 1

This is the little girl stage before you have any development because puberty hasn't yet begun for you. Your chest is flat except for your nipples which stick out a little. In another description, she defined nipples. Thanks, lady, because I didn't know what those were..

Stage 2

This is when you start to develop breast buds. Breast buds for girls is a small swelling under you nipples. The raised part is made up of the same tissue, fat, and glands that will make up your breasts when they are fully developed (right now it is just in smaller amounts).

The small mounds that develop may be uneven on each side of your chest and that is okay. In fact your breasts may develop at slightly different rates during all of the stages of breast development and that is normal. Phew! I thought I'd have lopsided tits forever!

Stage 3

Your puberty breasts are gradually getting bigger during this stage. Also, the dark colored circle of skin around your nipple, called your areolas, is also expanding to become a larger circle. Your nipples and areolas may start standing out from your actual breasts. This may look like a mound on a mountain. Your breast are taking on their adult form, but have not gotten to their adult size yet.

Stage 4

Everything continues to get bigger. You don't say? Your areolas and nipples more noticeably stand out now from your puberty breasts. It is common for your breasts to look a little pointy when you are at this stage.

Stage 5

Stage 4 and 5 may kinda mesh together for some of you. Stage 5 is where you have reached your adult shape and size for puberty breasts. Your breasts has grown larger and fuller, not as pointy anymore. You also don't have a separate mound for your nipple and areola because they have become one mound with your puberty breast tissue.

Some of you may not think you have reached this stage because your breasts are not as large as you expected them to be. There is a chance your breasts will continue to develop, and there will also be times in your life when they get larger (for example, when you are breast feeding a baby or if you gain weight in the future).

There were points when I literally laughed out loud reading these descriptions to my mom. I guess to me it just sounds like common sense. And maybe it's because by the time I started going through puberty I knew just about everything there was to know about my body. Or maybe because I'm 21, I don't know. But I laughed my way through every tab on that site. Puberty Breasts, Hormones, Menstruation, Sex, Vagina, and Gynecological Exam were just a few of the tabs I read through. There are portions that are targeted for young girls, obviously, like the boob section. But then the gynecological, and sex sections are seeking an older audience. How old are you when you're going through puberty? Like 11-18ish? I know some guys who went to college looking like boys, and came home for the summer looking like men. And it differs from person to person, so obviously I can't pin an age on it. But honestly, I hope by the time you're old enough to be deciding to have sex you know the basic mechanics of it. Ohhh that's what that's for? Is not the proper response. You are so not ready. 

In my personal opinion, young girls reading about the stages of their breast development and worrying Will mine get bigger? do not need to be reading about puberty sex. Regardless of the stand taken. One may argue that if teens are going to have sex, knowledgeable, safer sex is preferable to unprotected sex that results in unwanted children. I would agree. But I also think that sex at a young age is a stupid decision to make. (Yeah, yeah says the girl with the V card, you say... What'd I tell you about patronizing me?) 

I suppose this just all goes back to the last entry about change. Things are constantly changing, even in the world of science and medicine. They are forever trying to come up with new cures and discoveries etc. etc. and in the process they've obviously given more detail to the whole puberty development thing. The internet is so accessible that anyone who can spell can google anything they want to know about. Who needs parents when google can tell you, anything your heart desires...or point you to something that can. I'm sad to say that there are some girls who go through puberty not knowing anything about the changes going on in their bodies. The hormones, the periods, and the physical changes could turn the most confident of little girls into self-conscious teens with low self-esteem. 

Girls who end up thinking if only I was prettier... 

If only my boobs were bigger...

If only I knew what the hell was going on... 

But they don't. And there's no one to tell them, or they don't feel comfortable asking. So they sneak to the library, or on the family computer, and search out sites like the one I found tonight. And they learn, as best they can, and then they delete the internet history. So no one knows the change they're going through. And that young they don't know any better. Eventually, you get through puberty, gain some life experience, and find who you're supposed to be. But you don't know who you're supposed to be, at fifteen. 

♫♫♫

When you're fifteen

And somebody tells you they love you

You're going to believe them

When you're fifteen 

Don't forget to look before you fall
♫♫

the rest is still UNwritten...

Works Cited
Fifteen. Taylor Swift. Fearless. 2008, Big Machine Records, LLC.
Your Time to Blossom. Female Puberty. July 3, 2011.