Let Your Colors Burst

♫♫♫
Maybe the reason why all the doors are closed, so you could open one that leads you to the perfect road.
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow. And when it's time you'll know
You've just got to ignite the light, and let it shine.
Just own the night, like the Fourth of July.
♫♫


I'm really into Katy Perry's new album. Yes the songs are catchy, but they're also really great lyrically. If you haven't heard some of her new stuff I suggest you take the time to take a listen. For real.


In other news, I'm way overdue for some vacation time. The past month (well really all of 2011) I've been running myself ragged between the spa and the company. I haven't had time to do much of anything else. 
Work. Workout. And dance. 


I'm. So. Tired. I feel like I'm in the Daytona 500 running on E, with no pit stop in the foreseeable future. Last weekend, I was 2 hours late for work because I overslept. The second day of performance week I woke up at 7:15 for my 8 AM call. And only because that's when Jamel called me. Luckily he was asking if I wanted a ride. So all was well. 


Friends keep telling me not to wear myself out. But really what am I supposed to do? I have to do what I have to do. Bills don't pay themselves. So I have to go to work. Dance is a part of who I am. So I can't not do that either. It's true I don't get much time for resting. But in reality there isn't much I could do differently. 


At the end of this weekend the company will be finished with Remembering. I was hoping for a solid day of rest, but alas that does not seem to be in my forecast. My Sunday is Mostly Work with a 80% chance of call backs and rehearsal that will be rolling in late that evening. My time is in demand, I was looking at how my weekends book up. I have to check my calendar, and pencil people in. 


You want to come to New York? That's great...just let me check my schedule and see when's good.  


This weekend is out I'm performing. Next weekend is fine, but I work on Friday, I think I'm performing on Sunday-those plans are still up in the air- and I probably have rehearsal and voice all day Saturday. The following weekend I'll be in Cincinnati for a fundraiser, before taking off with Mommy. And then it's back to the grind that first week of March. Possibly a tour with the company, and a fashion show when that ends. 


Throw in 2 short films that are being turned into feature length and auditions for other stuff as well and you'll see just why I don't have time to eat let alone such a luxury as sleep.


According to my horoscope today, I'm "in the thick of things. It might feel a little bit like being deep in the jungle...[with] things [I] don't recognize... this phase is unnerving and exciting, so... enjoy the experience and push onward." 


I'm going to go back to the Katy Perry song that opened today's entry. While my schedule may seem like it's booked and I'm staying busy; I still feel like all the doors I wanted to be open are closed. The self-designed European audition tour has been postponed due to lack of interest and funds. I talked with approximately 10 companies and 8 of them slammed doors in my face. But I wasn't ready to give up. I was still going to go, even though it seemed that now wasn't the best time for me. It wasn't until we found out that what we thought was free lodging for the entire visit, was actually free lodging for only two nights. That changes things. 


I accept that I wasn't willingly going to let go of my Europe trip. So something had to be done. This opportunity was cancelled (or postponed) because there's a crossroad I have to get to first. But when the time comes, please believe I will own the night. Like the Fourth of July. 


♫Baby you're a firework. Come on show them what you're worth.♫


the rest is still UNwritten