I Tied My Handlebars to the Stars so I Stay on Track

Jeremiah 29:11 ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


Not to sound cocky or arrogant, but I'm fairly confident that I have been reasonably good at everything I've attempted to do in my life. I'm an excellent dancer, a phenomenal cheerleader, a stellar softball player - this is a great exercise in adjectives - I always got good grades in school. And all of this came relatively easy. One may go so far as to say it was a case of How to Succeed in Life, without Really Trying, Because I didn't have to exert a lot of energy to do well in my life. 


As a kid (and I'm using this term loosely, in the description that I was a "kid" until sometime about 2 years ago) I exerted exactly enough energy to get through what I needed to do. No more, and no less. It was with that mentality that I came to NYU. And in my first year there, the negativity nearly consumed me. With no one around to actively make me be better, I could skate by on half-assed attempts at everything; and still pass with flying colors. But that wasn't being the best that I could be; it wasn't plans to prosper at all. Those were plans to "sit around on my ass, because I may or may not be good enough to do anything after I graduate with a degree in dance" or "someday live in a box, because I picked a major that I like and have no idea how to use it."


In light of all these things, really reaching for the things I want in life is absolutely, without a doubt, the single most terrifying thing I'll ever do. Whether it be dance or men, auditioning or dating if I really wanted it, in the past I would only make a mediocre attempt at getting it. And for what? Because I was scared I might not get it? They may pick someone else? He may not want me? 


Fear?


My God is bigger than anything on this earth. He's bigger than anything I could ever fear. And there's no reason to fear. I know all this theoretically, but hey! Rome wasn't built in a day! ;-) I am making a valiant effort (in my opinion) to eradicate every fear that I have. 


First step: acknowledgement. Can't overcome it, if you're pretending it doesn't exist. 
Step 2: practice. Not that I practice failing, mind you. No! Practice being in situations you would normally fear. But then don't. 
Numero Tres: Trust. That you can do it. That God knows exactly what is planned. 
Four: I can do all things through Christ...'nuff said


That's my New Years Resolution for 2011. To Trust my God and His plan. To follow where He leads. To know that Shirley (inside joke. sucks if you're on the outside), goodness and mercy will always be with me, and I will dwell in the House of the Lord. Forever. 


This is my journey. And you are my audience. It's only the beginning. 
the rest is still UNwritten...