Santa Marta, Colombia. Population: 410,309

Something old and borrowed... from my facebook that is. I'll find something new and blue to blog about soon. This is me getting psyched for my sister's upcoming nuptials. Hoop Yeah!! I present: Santa Marta, Colombia. Population: 410,309 published March, 2009


Bienvenido a Colombia! Porfavorsientense.Quisieraagua? congas? 

Um..what?
Yeah...that's what I thought too. 

Spring Break '09 found me at 4 AM March 14 on the way to the airport to meet Marvel headed to Colombia. "But Epiphany," you ask, "why are you going to Colombia?" I say the answer is simple. Mommy called me up one day and said hey, lets go to Colombia. So I said sure. What's Spring Break without the tantalizing option of runins with drug lords? I could appreciate the opportunity (if I was interested in hardcore drugs, that is) that vacationing in Colombia could present. So I packed by bags. Said my goodbyes, and headed for JFK before the butt crack of dawn. *Insert "festive" hand motion here*


Airport ticket drama, an almost missed flight, and a 6 hour layover in Bogota later, Mommy and I step out into the balmy night air. Where we are promptly ripped off for the taxi ride to our hotel. =) Good start right? Meanwhile I'm thinking of the very specific instructions from the bff: 
-Don't die. 
-Don't get raped by drug lords. 
-Don't get stolen. 
-Don't get sold. 
I'd do my best to return to the states in one piece. 

So Day 1. It's really too bad that like no one speaks English here. At all. It's also too bad that they speak so fast thatallthewordsruntogetherliketherearenospaces. Which makes it really hard to even begin to understand, so my highschool Spanish wasn't much use. Anywayss..We need food and, you know, the cultured girls we are-we decide to take the "bus" to the grocery store. ...Now these "buses" are actually more like vans. With attendants. It's a cute little system though. They'll pick you up from the side of the road wherever you are, which is handy I guess...

We make it through the next couple of days with the food and the wine and the rum purchased at the grocery store. We spent some lovely hours on the beach and some quality time with our reading materials. Unfortunately the view from the beach was crisp blue waters, grayish sand (Marvel thinks it's from oil) and about 6-9 tankers. *another "festive" hand motion* When we went diving I could see all of like 5 ft in front of me. I've never seen so much trash in the ocean in my life. There were maybe 7 kinds of marine wildlife, and the best part was getting to see the city before we got in the water. 

That was where we met 1 of the 2 guys that spoke English. The other guy kept trying to sell us necklaces on the beach. [He had a great deal: you could buy it on credit. Take it home with you to the States and pay him later...right...] I'd say the most interesting thing about our English speaking amigos was that they learned English here in Nueva York. "But Epiphany," you ask, "How did they get here?" Funny story. They, both of them, stowed away on cargo ships bound for the states; and were then deported several years later. They both have kids here too. They're nice guys...I guess that's not really a funny story. oh well. 

But hands down. The BEST part of the trip was when Marvel dragged me to the Simon Bolivar Memorial house thing. I was quite content to sit inside (because by this time I'd had about enough of the sun) and read my like 9th book of the trip or something equally as ridic. But no...So. We hop on our favorite mode of transportation and tell the man in horribly broken Spanish that we're going to the museo. We get off 45 minutes later and head back in the direction he pointed us in. The first building we come to looks like it's a...but no that can't be right. We walk inside. And it is, in fact, a mall. Yes, my friend we ended up at the mall. This story would be much funnier if we hadn't found the museum, but we did so the voyage wasn't a complete waste. It was hot and sunny and I felt like freakin Edward Cullen trying to hide in the shade (I wouldn't get all bedazzled like he does) but it was cool. I guess. 

After that we spent the last day reading. And had a long day of traveling back home. I did make it back all in one piece, sans sexual assualt and encounters with slave trade! I also stayed up for more than 24 hours that day! Yayy! The moral is, I make entertaining stories of my vacations with Mommy, but really they're super chill and lots of fun mother-daughter bonding. =) Nothing like a good book, a good drink, and a nice beach to get you relaxed for the last 6 weeks of school.


*This has already been written.