My life flashed before my eyes when my super said that to me this morning as I walked Oreo (who is 20 weeks now! Which is just a silly way of saying she's 10 days away from being 5 months old!)
Having a baby dog is hard enough. I literally cannot imagine having a tiny human. The only thing I have to worry about is if Oreo will ever learn to stop jumping on people and to not eat food off the street. Those are mild concerns compared to if your tiny human ends up being a sociopath and murdering co-eds, or you know, something like that. Seriously!! What if your kid is the next Jack the Ripper?! The news people are interviewing you and all you can think of is "where did I go wrong? I should have known little Jack was off when I saw the dead squirrels in his room..." But I digress.
Today is about my mom. The bestest most wonderful mother in the entire world. This is a fact. I'M NOT BIASED! Granted I went through a phase around 12-13 when I hated her. Truth. I found a little notebook I used to pretend was a diary and wrote "I hate you" in it an embarrassing number of time. I think I threw it away. (I hope I did anyway, please don't go looking for it mom. And if you do find it throw it away. DO NOT READ! OMG so embarrassing) But after that short period I realized that while she called parents to make sure I was going where I said I was going; she was in fact a cool mom. If I just told the truth chances are she'd let me go. My high school friends used to sneak out to do stuff at night. I'd just tell my mom and then walk out the front door.
I don't know why everyone isn't just honest with their parents. Open lines of communication are the best. I'm not sure exactly at what age I realized that, sometime during high school, but by the time I moved to New York I was 17 and my mom was my best friend. I could tell her anything - and I do. She was the first person I called when I finally swiped my V-Card at almost 22. She said "was it good?" The guy was like "I can't believe you told your mom!" And I was like WHO ELSE WOULD I TELL? I called her on my way home when that guy at worked LICKED MY FREAKING EAR! I texted her from target when I almost bought a portable sewing machine - she said "Are you going to take up sewing?" because perspective.
I talk to my mom every day. Every. Single. Day. About everything and nothing. It's always been me and her against the world. But recently her relationship status has changed. And I'm so happy for her. For one half of a second I worried how this new person in her life would change our dynamic. Now I realize they just make me roll my eyes. The two of them are so romantic and gross I can't even handle it. Seriously. They celebrate each month anniversary and speak in Italian endearments 😒 But it's great because she deserves nothing but the best and I think that's what this man is. I jokingly (actually, I was pretty serious) told him, when they first started dating, that I'd be impressed if she still liked him after 6 months. That was in December. And even though I roll my eyes literally every time she talks about him, she tells me everything just like I tell her.
I learned to be strong and independent from my mom. I learned confidence and humility. I learned that no matter how angry you are at service industry people, you get more flies with honey. I learned to stand up for myself and I'll ALWAYS stand up for her against anyone. I wouldn't trade my mother for any other or all the money in the world. If you told me I could have my broadway dreams or my mom, I'd choose her no question every time. She is my rock and my confidant. She is the best part of me. I am literally all that I am because of her. She is my very best friend. In the words of Tina Fey & Amy Poehler- She's not a regular mom, she's a cool mom!
I guess it all just boils down to this: There's no one I'd rather talk sh*t with. Happy Mother's Day Mommy!
the rest is still UNwritten...
