Let Go and Let God

Let me start by saying Happy New Year! This time last year I was home with my family (for the first time in years) and yet now, a year later, I'm away again. I'm blessed to be working; something that not everyone can say. And working in a field that I'm passionate about. The year 2013 has brought me many blessings; and I'm beyond thankful that I've had the experiences I have. 

-- I earned my SAGAFTRA membership, with a 5x return on my investment. 
-- I was featured in a motion picture that gave me 5 weeks of solid work.
-- I was offered an 8 month contract with Norwegian Cruise Lines. Which led to 
-- An opportunity to pursue my performance career on land in bigger venues
-- I've met amazing new people
-- And I've had experiences to last a life time. 

But now that the year is coming to a close, I look forward with the expectation of "what next?" I have my hopes, but in the end what will happen will happen. Right now I have 38 days until the end of my Norwegian contract. And I have a plan A and a plan B for February 7th. 

Plan A: I move to Vegas.
Plan B: I stay in New York. 

Either is viable, either is beneficial, either will lead to further God's plan for me in 2014. But I'm not worried. 

The last time I faced a choice like this was 7 years ago. That's New Years 2006, for those who want to check my math. I was a senior in high school and had no idea how I would choose which school to go to. Fordham University in New York; Dominican University in California; NYU; Barnard. I was stressing out about which choice to make, and how I would know if it was ultimately the right decision. Romans 8:28 says "All things work together for the good for those that trust God and are called according to his purpose" God has a plan for each of us, but I worried that I would make the wrong choice and alter the plans and direction I was supposed to take. My very wise, yet sometimes annoyingly optimistic, mother reminded me of this verse. She told me to "Let go, and let God." In the end, there was no choice to make. The direction I was led in was the only option. Between advice from mentors, close friends, and scholarship money, NYU was the obvious choice for schools. I stopped worrying about what I should do and simply followed in the path I was meant to take. 

Which brings us to now. If next year I'm meant to be performing in Las Vegas, then I will be. But if I'm meant to be in New York working in the film industry then I will. Or if I'm meant to be doing something else that I haven't even seen yet, that too will happen. 

If He brings you to it, He brings you through it. 

Even the youth grow tired and faint, but good things come to those who wait. "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." - Isaiah 40:31


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It's My Body, I Do What I Want

Dear America,
"Pro-Choice" does not mean "Anti-Life" it means "Pro-CHOICE". Therefore, women of any belief system have the right to choose, wherever her choice may fall. On the other hand, "Pro-Life" does, in fact, infringe upon my FUCKING RIGHT TO MAKE MY OWN FUCKING CHOICES.
Sincerely,
I Can Think For Myself, Thanks

It baffles me how idiotic people sound when saying things like, and I quote, "Pro-life isn't anti all choices, but against the choice to kill a baby... Pro-choice isn't anti-life in general, but against the life of babies whose mother's don't want them to live." < Do you OWN a dictionary? Because mine says choice means I can make my own decision between two or more options. The argument isn't for or against abortion. It's for or against a woman's right to choose whether or not she can. What these people are saying, is that I shouldn't have a right to make that decision for myself. Kind of like the people who are against same-sex unions. You don't like gay marriage? Don't get gay married. You're against abortion, fine. Don't have one. But don't take away anyone else's choice to do so. It's so unfortunate that people can't look past themselves and see that we're a nation of many different beliefs.  (It's funny to me because generally the same people who are "pro-life" are also pro-gun-- or whatever the political statement is for that)


The House passed an anti-choice bill for the unconstitutional nationwide abortion ban at 20 weeks. That's a month earlier than the Roe v. Wade 24 week abortion decision made in 1973, the point in which a fetus is generally viable outside the mother. This bill bans ANY abortion after 20 weeks. Including but not limited to: unwanted pregnancy, rape victims (after public outrage it was modified to not include victims of rape and incest), at-risk pregnancies,  pregnancies that may end the mother's life or her ability to conceive again. While this is just a minor adjustment, it was a victory for those "pro-life" people that want to ban abortion all together. Luckily it is doubtful that this bill would go any further in the short term, with a democratic Senate, and a pro-choice President.

How can anyone say the Obama administration is waging a war on women? "He's attacking [your] beliefs" when really Obama is protecting a woman's right to choose. You pick one thing and someone else picks another. My belief allows everyone to exercise their own beliefs, while yours limit my right to make my own decisions. I don't even see why there IS a debate.

I've made this analogy before: politics and religion are kind of like dicks. It's great that you have one, and you can even be proud of it. But! It's rude to whip it out and try to shove it down my throat. Because, while I would never choose abortion (my right, my choice), if I'm an at risk pregnancy and it comes down to my life and the parasite. I'm picking me. Every. Single. Time.


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You're Not Listening

Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth????


I'm so sick of being ignored, written off and underestimated. Whether it's because of my age, my gender or the color of my skin, one or all of the above. I'm. Over. It. I don't know what people see when they look at me. Perhaps I am a conundrum. Perhaps I have an unassuming look. But even if that is the case, still have the decency to talk to me as the adult I am.

Not to toot my own horn, but I'm smart dammit. I'm smarter than a lot of people. And I find it extremely irritating when I have to deal with ignorance, no where near my intellect, and people talking down to me because I'm 20-something. Don't patronize me. Don't placate me. Don't treat me like a hysterical female. Do what you're supposed to do, so that I can go about my business. I have other things to do and you are holding me up. I've got a life to live, thank you very much.

Speaking of lives to live. I'm like months late on this, but I just saw a video on YouTube that breaks down, frame-by-frame, why Beyonce is possessed by the Devil. And how we shouldn't support her music because of the "faces" she makes while on stage that prove her possession. Like, seriously. Go live your life and stop worrying about what Jay and Bey are doing in theirs. Who cares if he's throwing diamonds up. I feel like the Illuminati has better things to do than use celebrities as puppets. Fame is the antithesis of a SECRET society. And the Illuminati is, in fact, a secret society based on enlightenment (and allegedly a new world order. Whoa! Dream big). Not the music industry.

If you've retained nothing from the past 3 paragraphs, please, get this. Don't act like you know anything about what's going on with someone else. Chances are you don't know their life.

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Why You All In My Life?

So, here's the thing. This blog aside, I'm a pretty private person. I have a few close friends that I like and share things with. They know my thoughts, my secrets, and how I feel about the general masses in my life. Everyone else I know is an acquaintance. It's not that I dislike them. You know? I just don't like them. It's a fine line. I hope you understand. And the rest of the world...people I don't know. Well they don't even register.

That being said, I try to avoid being in situations that will put my name in someone's mouth. Not that I care, per se; it doesn't upset me or anything. It's just that people will talk regardless, and I'd rather not instigate it. Any of it. Whether what they say is good or bad, I don't want the action that caused it to be intentionally attention-seeking. Ironically, I am a pretty big attention whore. Mostly due to the fact that I grew up as an only child, I'm the baby of the family and my 6 sisters are all much older than me. So I do like attention, but I prefer that one-on-one, you have my full-and-undivided kind. Not the [insert name] claims they were with Epiphany Davis at [insert location] and she was wearing...

This is my life. If you don't like it go live your own.


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Baby I'm Back. Yeah!

"Forgive me Father..." It's been 7 months since I last wrote.

A lot can happen in 7 months. You can make a baby. Buy a house. Grow your hair out. Lose an election. Win an election. Learn a new skill. Study abroad. Or you could be sitting around doing exactly what you did 7 months ago.

While I am sleeping where I was 7 months ago, and working where I was 7 months ago; a lot has happened between now and then. For example:

• Miami, FL with SSD for premiere of ROGUE at Bernice Steinbaum Gallery- Hilarity ensued. As per usual
• Started working with Method Models - dressed up as a corporate shark and urban vulture, complete with Shark and Vulture heads. I was awesome. Duh!.
• Won $100 gift card to Lacoste and Gotye concert tickets! Shopping spree!
• Worked my @*$ off at the Spa
• So I could start working with a new company! 
• Had lunch with a visiting friend from high school. We went to a family style restaurant...it was just us two. #bestcalamariever
• Performed at Joe's Pub
• Went to Ohio for less than 48 hours. Twice.
• Did my first Burlesque performance!
• Finished a savings program. 
• Joined a new Aerial gym
• Watched my friend move to Miami :(
• Went on tour to Mexico :)
• Walked back across the Mexico - US border
• Took pictures with men with guns. The guns were out. I was nervous...
• Celebrated my birthday. At a bar mitzvah... 
• Went to benihana for the first time in NYC!!! 
• Survived Hurricane Sandy!
• Relocated to Seattle, WA for 2 months
• Performed in a regional theater production! 
• Danced with Bebe Winans! Oh yeah!
• Celebrated Christmas and NYE with my family for the first time in 3 years. 
• Rang in the new year COMPLETELY sober. 

A lot has happened in the last 7 months. I, sadly, just didn't feel like I had something to write about. But now baby I'm back yeah! I'm here to cater to your every wry humorous writing desire. Happy 2013!


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