Sexy Can I?

I recently read on webmd about 10 health benefits of sex. It was like finding out chocolate is secretly beneficial to your health. Mind you, I don't like chocolate; but I know plenty of people who do. Which is why the analogy is relevant. Anyway, read on to find out why you should have sex. Everyday. 

1. Sex Relieves Stress
2. Boosts Immunity 
3. Sex Burns Calories
4. Sex Improves Heart Health
5. Sex Boosts Self esteem
6. Improves Intimacy
7. Reduces Pain
8. Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk
9. Sex Strengthens Pelvic Floor Muscles
10. Sex Helps You Sleep Better

So go ahead. Get your freak on. It's good for you.

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Who's Killing Them In the UK?

That'd be Trinity.

Who's Trinity? It's a combination of three dance companies Sobers & Godley, the all female company Simone Sobers Dance, and their male counterpart Project 44. We're on tour.

Originally I wanted to be writing more during this tour, but the wifi situation while we were in England ended up being bizarre and not one of us were able to get wifi on our American devices in the host family's house. The most fab gay couple opened their home to six, twenty-somethings and let us take over their bathroom, living room, and drink all their wine. They even let us stay despite the fact that we were inappropriate a majority of the time. Mmhmmm, that's nice. 

 Our first show of They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To went very well when we premiered it at the Zion Theater in Manchester. There were a whopping 10 people in attendance. Literally. And 9 of them hated it. Just kidding. All 10 were very impressed and they loved the evening length work choreographed by Sobers & Godley. After a wonderful performance that we all enjoyed doing, we wanted to paint the town red and enjoy Manchester. Instead we went back to the house on Stretford and ate, drank, and told naughty jokes with our new British friends :) 

Barcelona was fun too.

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I Feel Pretty

I'd say that there are maybe 3 days a week when I actually try to look good. Meaning I do everything from putting together a stellar outfit, with shoes, to even adding a touch of makeup. The rest of the week I just throw on some jeans, or leggings, or sweatpants, a t-shirt, my shox and call it an ensemble.

I'm okay with that. I'm comfortable, and confident enough in myself that I can wear...whatever...and not be worried about how I look. I don't really care. Usually. But I won't lie, because there are some days when I just want to feel pretty.

Pretty. That dreaded word. What does it even mean? According to Princess' dictionary it means: attractive in a delicate way without being truly beautiful. I've changed my mind. I don't want to be pretty anymore. *rolls eyes* I'll work on feeling "truly beautiful"  But lets start of small. Feeling pretty will make you appear attractive to other people. Guaranteed. If I'm having a bad day, where I need a little extra confidence I wear something that makes me feel nice. Usually my confidence-boosting garment of choice is underwear. The sexier the better. And I'm talking the finest lingerie from Victoria's Secret – that no one gets to see but me. True story. I have an underwear fetish and I'm proud of it. Retail therapy? I buy new panties. Or heels. #FeedMyAddiction

The thing about pretty is feeling it yourself. When I feel pretty, I don't care what anyone else thinks. My friend was baffled that even if I'm wearing sweatpants and sneakers, chances are I'm wearing Victoria's Secret underneath. My underwear is pretty, even if my clothes are for comfort. And when I feel pretty, I'm confident. Another friend of mine just created a new workout site – The New Sexy. In one of her posts this week she talked about loving your body. That is important. It's the only body you've got; and even if you want to change some things, you're still stuck with the equipment issued. So why not dress it up? In a sexy accessory of choice.

You're only as pretty as you feel. (Right? That sounded good, let's stick with it) So I mean hey, buy yourself something nice. But by definition the word pretty is unworthy of everything I can be. I'll never be contained within just five letters. I will be: pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing. Not merely pretty.


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It's Complicated -- with Epiphany Davis

I wasn't sure what to write about after my last post. I was...am still... very passionate about that. Everything else sort of seemed trivial in comparison. Good thing I don't like politics. That'd make for a boring blog on my part; well written, but not nearly as entertaining...

So. What brought me out of my writing funk? Facebook, actually. It's a wealth of knowledge and a great source of information. But I'm just about tired of seeing the heart icon on my newsfeed. Angelina Jolie is Engaged to Brad Pitt. This is just an example, since Angelina and me aren't exactly on fb basis yet. But I kid you not, it feels like every day someone I do know is getting engaged. I really try to be happy for them.

Like, I try hard to be happy for them. And I'm not bitter or anything. So don't think I'm hating because I'm not in a relationship. If it were only that simple. What bothers me, is that every time I see that status, I can't help but wonder why? My actual thought is usually, ew...why? Because my relationship status is complicated....with myself. I can't want to be married. Clearly, other couples my age aren't having that problem. So they're getting married. And pregnant. On purpose. I know! It's baffling. Husbands and babies are like bronchitis. I ain't got time for that!!

There have been many a night I call my mother, just to make sure I'm doing it right. I mean, because maybe there's something wrong with me...you know? My career takes up way too much of my life for me to worry about having time for some boy...or man. I know people who have been together for 5, 6, 7 years and I suppose that now the next logical step is to put a ring on it. I'm not criticizing those who want to live happily ever after. Who am I to say your love's not real or whatever... Good on ya. But this is about me! As usual.

I just don't understand. that's all. Maybe someone can explain it to me. And while you're at it, help me understand the allure of hosting that parasite for 40 weeks. It makes you sick, it makes you fat, it leeches your nutrients, it's a 7-9 lb tumor pushing on your bladder and kicking the shit out of your ribs. And then once you're rid of it...you still have to take care of the little person for 18 years. That shit cray. Don't hate me. I do love babies. So long as Mommy is near when they start crying =)

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Barefoot and NOT Pregnant!

I have a serious problem with people telling me what to do.

Seriously. Please take that statement at face value. I'd never survive in the military, because I no doubt would question a superior on their right to boss me around. I don't like to be patronized. (Patronized, of course is another matter. By all means I accept donations!!) If I think I've got a handle on things, I don't want anyone to point out what they think I should be doing. The honest truth is I don't want to hear it, because I just don't care. Believe me, when I want advice I will be sure to solicit an opinion.

Don't tell me what to wear. What to eat. Where to go. What to do. How to do it. How to do it better. When to do it. or Why you think I should. NO! None of that. Mind you, anyone in a position to do this would be someone I am close with. Lucky for them they know better. Now imagine, if someone you don't know, someone who cares nothing for you, decides that they know what's best. Not for you specifically, but for everyone in general. Now imagine, that person, negates your ability to make rational and intelligent decisions; they do in fact, make it illegal for you to make your own choices. Regardless of your opinion on the matter.

I try to stay out of politics. Frankly because I have better things to do with my time than get all in a lather over something that doesn't affect me and I can't do anything about anyway. Intolerance? What can I do about that besides love up on some more gay men and be the wrangler to their fairy? Gay marriage? If you don't like it, don't get gay married...duh! Government Shutdown? Did that really happen? or was everyone just joking? But that's my point. Until now.

Recently there have been a slew of (I'm going out on a ledge and calling it) anti-women legislation. Nationwide there has been an outpouring of bills in state senates to ban a woman's rights to her body. Taking away her choices and bringing the government all up in the lady doctor's office. "In 2011 alone, state GOP lawmakers introduced 600 bills restricting abortion and passed a record 91 of those bills, and five states placed new restrictions on access to birth control and family planing" (Laura Basset, Huffington Post) There have been pharmacists and physicians who refuse to fill or prescribe (respectively) contraception due to personal beliefs. In Kansas, doctors have been given immunity to lie to their patients about possibly devastating birth defects that might lead them to end a pregnancy. Or give them the opportunity to learn as much as they can and be prepared to love their baby the best way possible. Arizona, a state where you can be fired at will -- there's a fancy word for it but I can't find that particular article -- actually okayed in one house, a non-religious affiliated employer the right to not only restrict health insurance coverage of contraceptives but to also fire a woman for using birth control. And Georgia joined six other states in what has been termed the "women as livestock bill" prohibiting abortions after 20 weeks. A blatant disregard of Roe v. Wade that set the bar at legal abortions up to 24 weeks (Ms.Magazine Blog) While eventually bill writers agreed to a compromise, initially the legislature was written forcing women to carry medically futile fetuses to term. According to state Rep Terry England, farmers must deliver colts dead-or-alive, so too should women, apparently. Regardless.

The assortment of anti-choice laws that are cropping up all of the country is a bit startling for me. There are bills that are written wanting to prohibit abortion after a heart beat can be detected. That happens at 6 weeks. Most women don't even know they're pregnant at 6 weeks. And some that say even victims of rape and incest won't be able to abort. Women who are physically and/or psychologically unfit won't have a choice. There are fines of up to $10,000 for those trying to coerce a woman into abortion (I'd have to agree with that, actually). But that particular state will help to coerce a woman out of an abortion.  It's even coming up in the Republican primary. Gov. Rick Santorum believes that states should have the right to ban birth control. And sodomy, just a little p.s. Mitt Romney has been consistently pro-life in his governorship. Bully for his constituents and their desire for status-quo, but let's say the Republicans dominate the 2013 United States Government. What does that say about my choices as a woman?

Which brings me around to what pisses me off. Who is this middle-aged white man to say that I can't have birth-control? That I don't know how to make intelligent decisions, and thus can't be trusted to know whether or not I can have a baby. Let's get a separation of church and state here, Rick! I won't bring my sex life into your campaign headquarters, and you keep YOUR opinions out of my prescription. Every morning at 10:30 AM, my phone sounds that awkward cricket noise because my No Time For Babies alarm is going off. Mostly because I still think it's funny, it would be awkward for me to have a baby--and to remind me to take my pill. And while I live in New York -- a most liberal and loving city if I ever knew one-- I am almost positive I won't have to deal with such clear prejudice and ignorance, there are women who are not so lucky. Real people who are affected by these stupid laws, inflicted on us based on someone else's opinion. I am sick at heart knowing that there are women suffering because of the bills being passed. If you choose to not be on birth control because it's a "silent abortion", that's on you. I mean, whatever, live your life. But don't force others who maybe use it to balance hormones...regulate periods...clear up acne. There a tons of other reasons women are on the Pill. And who are these representatives to decide what's best for women universally. Most of them are not even female. And just to clear the matter up. I personally would never have an abortion. I'm on birth control to make sure that exactly every 28 days I have an unfertilized egg, and because I have no time for babies. I'll leave that to my sisters.  But just because I, personally, wouldn't do it -- It's my body and I do what I want! -- all women should have that choice. Roe v. Wade was ruled for a reason. After a certain point a fetus is viable, and after that time I no longer agree with aborting a pregnancy. But up until then...

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If You Wanna Be Somebody

You better wake up and pay attention. 

I have somehow managed to be around young people often. I don't know how it happened; but alas, here I am knee deep in adolescents. You may wonder how I deal, but I don't really have a problem with older kids. I mean, I was 18 like 4 years ago. Been there. Done whatever they're thinking. Got a t-shirt and shot glass. At that age you think you know, well, everything. In my mind I pretend I wasn't that dumb and full of myself at that age, but I probably was. On the other hand, I also knew that my life lay outside the walls of my high school. And that at 17, the best thing to happen to me, was leaving. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm all worldly and stuff. This is out of context in New York, but I try to explain to 15 year olds that in life you'll likely to do things greater than dating the boy on the football team.

Sometimes they listen.

The thing about being older, I feel like I have to impart my knowledge. If any of my experiences can be helpful, I want to give them every opportunity. I want to impact their lives, so they come into themselves maybe sooner than I did. Despite what I'm sure is a lot of people think, I'm actually quite smart. I know right? And I just dance around all day. But it's true! And I like to have smart sounding conversations with my friends. Recently, I was talking to a dear friend, about our lives thus far: our experiences post-undergrad, and coming into ourselves as young, black women. We were considering our pasts, what we were doing and thinking at our students age, and how it shaped our futures. Based on that conversation I came up with 4 steps to follow: If you wanna be somebody.

Phase 1: Figure out who are.
Now believe me, this is much easier said than done. Because really, who do you think you are at 15? 18? 25? Chances are you'll see yourself differently in the decade between 15 and 25. The thing about this is, once you find your core, as a person (not like your core abdominal wall) you'll be centered. No matter how much your character evolves, you'll still be that same person.

Phase 2: Figure out who you want to be.
Once you've found your core as a person, you can look in yourself and determine if that is who you want to be. Or if you want to be something more. (Always the more, never the less) Set your sites on something far ahead. Because I mean, like Whoa! Dream big! And then make it happen.

How?

Phase 3: Surround yourself with positive energy.
You are the environment you surround yourself in. If you're making all these grand plans to move ahead in life, but you surround yourself with energy that holds you back and holds you down, how will you ever make it? Keep it positive and you'll be off the hizzle, G! Huh?

Phase 4: Take strides to make that happen.
Enough said. If you wanna be somebody. If you wanna go somewhere. You better wake up and pay attention.

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Quarter-Life Crisis

We all know about the mid-life crisis. It's when 40 to 50 something men, lose their ever-loving minds, and stumble into a moment of temporary insanity. Where they up and do something crazy!! Like have an affair with their intern. Or blow all their savings-- with delusions of mechanical grandeur-- on a 1950 Mustang fixer-upper. I guess maybe it happens to women too? I don't know. I think that might just be called menopause... But back to my point, we all know about the mid-life crisis. But have you ever been in the throes of a quarter-life crisis?

I have. Well, not in the throes, exactly, since I like to think I'm fairly well adjusted. But I've experienced other people's quarter-life crises. And that is when mid 20 to 30 somethings (non gender specific) lose THEIR ever-loving minds to temporary insanity. Now this crisis tends to happen either right before or right after some major change in the young life of our hero. Or heroine as the case may be.

Examples: College graduation. Job interviews (multiple after not finding said dream job, upon college graduation). Mile stone birthdays 22. 25. 30. Realization of a dream deferred. Engagements and Weddings and Babies (oh my!)

See, our hero/ine finds themselves in one of these situations and that horrid "wtf am I doing with my life" question comes up. Whether it be upon graduation, and shit now mom and dad have absolutely no reason to continue paying your bills. Or after a summer of searching and still no bites in this awful job market- so you move home to "save money." Or mayhaps everything was fine, but now 25 is around the corner and damn it all, if you haven't made any progress on that Things I Want To Do Before I Die list. "Yeah, remember when I wanted to..." starts becoming a problem and our hero/ine recalls that before things got crazy, and the mundane of real life set in, they wanted to be an actress...not a waitress. And finally (and I think the most compelling of all situations) the engagements and weddings and babies (oh my!) of the friends. As was so apparent in my own Facebook timeline, 2011 was clearly the year to "settle down". My high school class has by now graduated from whatever Cincinnati/Ohio based college they went to. They maybe even have a job. Next step? Marriage. (Gross, I know. But who am I, commitment-phobe that I am, to judge?) These Facebook status updates, and the ultra-sound photo mobile uploads, and the wedding albums are by far the most driving of events to spark the quarter-life crisis. The unsuspecting 20something will happen upon a photo, or they'll be blindsided by a matrimonial newsfeed detailing what seems like everyone elses wedded bliss. And all that sanity just goes right out the fifth-floor-walk-up window. I want to be married. I want to have babies. I want to settle down. Temporary insanity. I'm telling you.

Mind you, I think everyone under the age of thirty who isn't selfishly thinking only about what they want is just stir crazy. And that is my most humble and unbiased opinion.



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I Believe

I believe in wearing sunglasses at night
And NOT wearing a bra- whenever possible
In big hair, big hugs, and big dreams
In matching underwear-- just in case
I believe in sleeping during the day
And dancing in socks
I believe in white tees and panties.
In working hard, but playing harder
I believe in being grammatically correct.
In following your heart.
In surprise dance parties.
I believe in challenging myself.
And striving for perfection.
I believe in shooting for the moon -- so at least you'll land among the stars.
I believe in best friends.
And seester love.
I believe in hand holding, lip kissing, and tongue sucking make-out fests.
I believe anything is possible.
And dreams do come true.
I believe in artistic expression
And suspension of disbelief.
I believe in karma and that you reap what you sow
In destiny-- and a purpose driven life.
I believe in vampires, shape shifters, Storm, and Wolverine
In covering my eyes AND ears during scary movies.
I believe in Disney Princesses -- and fairy tale endings
I believe that no matter how I try, I will never be perfect-- And that's perfectly okay.
I believe love will conquer all.

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Rain Drops on Roses

And whiskers on kittens...These are a few of my favorite things

2012 is going to be a big year. In case you didn't already know. I can tell, because amazing things are already happening. For Christmas my Dad got me a class card to Trapeze School New York where I take classes on Aerial Silks. And just last week I was apprenticed by Fly By Night Dance, an aerial dance company that mostly uses trapeze work. I wish I had video or photos to show, because apparently I'm already kinda good at it!! But what's most importantly (lol) is how much fun it is! I'm loving it. Minus the rug burn on my inner thigh, fabric burn on my ankle, and bruises in my elbows-- it's super sexxxy.

So already, a goal I set to expand my skills, is in motion. Favorite: Learning New Things. Additionally I've been busy these past 16 days. By the end of this week I will have performed twice. Once in New Jersey, for Live It, Breathe It 2012. Check out Nathalie goes to New Jersey for photo documentation, of production week in Jers. And this Thursday Simone Sobers Dance is at it again. A Women in Dance showcase at Ailey.

Favorite: Performing. 

Also coming up a new photo shoot!! Thanks to the recommendation from Nathalie Matychak of Matychak (formerly BANGdance) in a couple weeks I will be joining the Me In My Place family. Favorite: Getting My Picture Taken Me In My Place is a blog-type site that captures real girls in their own space- not too crazy and just a pinch naughty. As for the naughty part? Well, who doesn't like to dress down? *wink* On the site there a self submissions and there are photos from a photographer. While I commend those girls who had to work up the confidence to take pictures in their panties, I just say this is perfect. Favorite: Not Wearing Pants This shoot is going to be awesome. I never wear pants at home any way. So yes, I would love for you to come take my picture #MeInMyPlace indeed #ClosetNudist

Those are some things I love in regard to what's going on in my life currently. Here's some other favorites:

Sleeping In
Naps in the Middle of the Day
Cuddling with Booface
Breakfast for Dinner
Body Work
Reading- because bookworms are sexxxy
and last but not least, Artistic Expression- Any way you want it


And in the chance I'm feeling sad? I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad.

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Como Se What?

Why is it that celebrities give their kids such awful monikers? I mean just because you're rich and famous doesn't mean people won't make fun of your child named Kal-El... He's not superman. People are mean and children are cruel. Now I'm not disparaging unique names. Because I mean, shit, my name is Epiphany. But I don't care how "unique" a name is. Sometimes it's just too weird for a person in real life. I mean, David Duchovny had to have been joking by naming is son Kyd. Calling out, "Hey Kyd!" can only be funny for so long, before said kid gets tired of hearing that. And Tu Morrow. Hardy Har. No one wants a punny name.

Here are some of my favorite interesting...unique...okay, they're weird, famous offspring names:

Kal-El - son of Nicholas Cage. Apparently Mr. Cage was in the run for a Superman film.
Apple- daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and some other guy. The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree... Get it?
Kyd- David Duchovny "Somebody catch that Kyd"
Fifi Trixibelle & Peaches Honeyblossom- Paula Yates has kids with two different men. Apparently she's the name chooser because she also has a Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. Como se whaaahhhtt?
Sage Moonblood- Sage is okay. It's the Moonblood part that's spinning me around. But apparently that's Sylvester Stallone's middle name. And of course we must gift our children with a family name.
Pilot Inspektor- really, Jason Lee, really?
Prince Michael II- AKA Blanket. I don't know that I want to be called any sort of bedding. Pillow, Quilt, Sheet set... not really appealing.
George Edward Foreman II-VI -- That's five in case you have a hard time with the Roman Numeral math. They're brothers. George Foreman also managed to get George into two of his daughters' names. That's 8 out of 10. Not bad.
Moon Unit, Dweezil & Diva Thin Muffin - Enough said. Not sure what Frank Zappa was thinking
Jermajesty- Jermaine Jackson's kid. This just leads to all sorts of Jer- names I can think of. Jerkoff for example. Jer-alibi, Jer-man, Jer-da man, Jer-... Uhhh it's been a while since I was a kid. But I'm sure they thought of something equally horrible.
Reignbeau - Sound it out. In French? Rainbow...Ving Rhames, le sigh.
Seven Sirius, Mars Merkaba - Numbers and Planets for names, Erykah ... Hi, I'm Dr. Seven Sirius. Seriously. hehe
Audio Science - Shannyn Sossamon–I'm not sure I know who she is–opened a college course guide, and clearly picked the first name in the book.
Zowie Bowie - David Bowie, kids are going to find a way to rhyme Bowie regardless. You didn't need to make it so easy.
Jeronimo - I can't even begin to describe my pain when I saw that Diego Luna named his kid this.
Moxie Crimefighter - Penn Jillette thought that because people rarely use their middle names Crimefighter wouldn't matter. But it does. It matters. (Note to self: don't pick a name just because I think it's funny. I won't be called that for the rest of my life)
Poppy Honey, Daisy Boo, & Petal Blossom - Jamie Oliver, there are no words.
Rufus Tiger & Tiger Lily - Roger Taylor. Someone liked Peter Pan as a child
Satchel - Spike Lee a satchel is what you carry your screenplay in. Not the name your kid carries.

And the name that prompted this investigation into the debacle that is celebrity names: Blu Ivy. Really B? Really? Because it sounds to me that while she is a product of both Beyoncé and Jay-Z her name shouldn't really be an allusion to them. It's been reported they went with Blu for JayZs ubër successful Blueprint album and Ivy like the number 4... in Roman Numerals. Maybe if it was Ivy, "because we want her to grow and flourish no matter what" I could understand. But your fave number, not so much.

All that being said, for us regular folk, please note that especially since you're not famous, any atrocity you name your child will be stuck for at least 18 years. Pryncess DeLa'Qúandria is not acceptable. Neither is Watermelondrea or you know, the city they were conceived in... Who wants to know that?! (no offense if that is your name... I was trying to make up something ridiculous... but I hope you like it if it is...*question mark* )  What will I name my kid(s)? That is a good question. But since I can't really think much farther than a year in advance, and that is maybe like 10 years down the line, I'll be crossing that bridge when I come to it. I do like the name Ryder though. And Catelaia

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