What Were You Thinking?

Soooooooo. Life is based on the decisions we make on the daily. Obviously. Newton's law says every action has an equal and opposite reaction, meaning there is always a consequence for the things we decide to do. The choices we make are what make up the experiences that frame our lives.

As children we learn some basics: Fire is hot, don't put your fingers in it. Hungry dogs bite. Walking into oncoming traffic will get you hit by a car... Reading some of these you may be like, Duhh Piph! and that's just it! These are all duhh! things, and yet people still put their hands in a hungry dog's mouth and cry foul when they're bitten.

My Daddy used to always tell me before I'd get out of the car, or leave the house, or hang up the phone, "Think for yourself, use good judgement, do the right thing." and I'm always like, okay dad...because, you know, I'm a smart girl. But not everyone can say they've mastered that whole common sense thing. Guess we aren't really made equal. How unfortunate

The thing about life decisions is that you have to live with them for the rest of your life. Yeah, I know. Shocking right? And, of course, everyone makes mistakes. But really you shouldn't be making the same bad decisions repeatedly, because then your mistake becomes an error. My source/ inspiration for this topic came from a chat I had with my cousin, Bari Starr. He's still growing as a person, trying to become independent-ish. Compared to some of his friends though, his life is not only on target but spotlessly clean. To put this in perspective, his shit is no where near together (no offense cuzzo). 

But while we were talking he was telling me things that blew my mind and rocked my world. At 16 and 17 years old, kids are soooo not ready for the kinds of consequences the decisions they're making lead to. I mean, when I was that age, Pluto was a planet and I was doing all I could to get to New York City and be a dancer. The choices I was making were related to SAT questions and what college I was attending in the fall. NOT whether or not I'm using condoms tonight, or which of five guys I'm sleeping with. Never that. I wasn't out trolling for conquests, or another notch on my bedpost. Frankly, if that bedpost is still at your parents' house, you needn't be notching anything! I was in my bed watching others take the antibiotics from their latest round of STDs. Oh, and I got the very top of my earlobe pierced. That's what I was doing at 17. 

Me &Naassstty + new piercing circa May 2007

These kids, they're getting ultrasounds. And I don't mean the kind for an injury. She's picking baby names, and hoping she guessed the right guy as the father... I mean, 'tis a 1 in 5 chance she got it right. He's taking AZT breaks. What?! And the sad part is, I can't see that the circumstances have made them reevaluate the choices they're making.

I'm not knocking anyone's relationship with their mother, because maybe yours sucks. But I'm thankful for my mom. She talks me up, she talks me down, she doesn't talk at all. She disagrees with my decisions to get pierced and tattooed, but loves me anyway. (and she's borderline surprised with how tasteful they are. Which sometimes offends me, mom, really what were you thinking?) 

    

Today's point: once you make your choices, you have to live with the consequences of your decisions. You decide you don't like condoms-- which are probably the best invention ever-- sooner or later your eggo is preggo. And you can't cry about it, because it was your choice not to look into another form of birth control. If you've had sex with over sixty people before the age of 20, you're definitely going to catch something gnarly. If you're lucky, it's something curable with antibiotics. Or you can get something you don't come back from. You could die, years from now, from something you contracted based on decisions at age 16.

After I was enlightened so, I had to talk to people that age. I teach 15-17 year old girls. We didn't dance, we sat and talked, and I told them: Think for yourselves. Use good judgement. Do the right thing.

I, Epiphany Davis, being of sound mind and able body do hereby declare that you just might have to buy yourself a clue.

the rest is still UNwritten

Maybe She's Born With It

♫♫♫I'm beautiful in my way cause God makes no mistakes. 
I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way. ♫♫♫

A serious debate in the world is nature vs. nurture. Are people born a certain way, or do they develop because of the way of their specific life experiences. Well, that's a bit beyond my scope of reasonable conversation. I'm sure I could talk it out, but I can't guarantee the arguments would hold any factual basis, and would probably just be a lot of b.s.

But for the sake of making a choice, I'm throwing my towel in with nurture over nature. Want to know why? Well, because no one is inherently evil... Okay I'll tone it down. People aren't inherently bad, either. Let's be honest, something happened to the kid that likes to torture small animals. And something happened to the girl with daddy issues so deep she doesn't trust anyone further than a single night hookup that doesn't even include sex. What happened? Who knows. They might not even be consciously aware of it. But some experience, either directly or indirectly, led to the "abnormal" behavior. Short of putting them in a box for study, there is really no way to know what triggers the truly heinous behavior that some people adopt. But then if we did that, the experiment might not work.... Le sigh

Right, but back to the point: everyone is a product of their raising. You're the sum of your parts ( in that your parts are your past...not like your body parts...which you're also the sum of, I guess?) You live your life as a child; you do what your parents say because, hey, they're the parent and you're the kid. As you grow, life happens outside of your parents and your family (if you have siblings and what not) and other outside forces affect you. Then you have that first circumstance that changes your life. And nothing is the same. Ever. You may not have lost your innocence but some major alterations occurred and there is no going back.

Your entire life is made up of moments like that. While the experiences may seem minor, they are in fact, what shapes us as people; and frankly, I don't see that one could ever completely sever the tie between the person and the aspects of life that made them that way. I like to think that I can be objective, but objectivity is all relative. Any sort of measurement can be skewed, or biased based on one's personal experiences. Much as we may try to block out negative emotions, they will always play a part in our subconscious.

Here's the part you read for, I know, Life According to Epiphany -- Shenanigans and Mishaps that is 21-year-old life in New York City. A Scorpio woman can drown you in her passion. It is in my nature to be a very passionate person. About everything that matters to me. Get your minds out of the gutter, because for once I'm not talking about sex. (aside) Want to know more about Scorpio women? This is shockingly accurate about me. Seriously, character profile breakdown. So while it is in my nature to be passionate, it was my nurturing that encouraged me to focus all the passion on something besides sex. There will always be sex. Or so I'm told... But for the past 21 years I've spent more time dancing, than sleeping and eating... I mean, probably. That's not an exact calculation. So who had time for sex?

It was also based on past experiences that led me to close myself off from the world around me–we kinda talked about ignoring things in (Living My Life Like It's Golden 3/11) – I had a hard time coming to terms with the friend...girlspacefriend...girlfriend situation I'm facing. I mean, the last time I called someone the b word I was 12. For the past nine years, I didn't so much shy-away as flat-out-run-the-opposite-direction from any sort of romantic relationship. But check me out now. I tried to be objective about it, really I did, but there was no telling me it was a good idea. Epiphany get over yourself. Yeah, yeah easy for you to say. Mi amore vole fe-- my love needs faith...yeah!


the rest is still UNwritten

Hello, My Name Isn't Pete Miser

This is the first video I've done that isn't still in production or an NYU Student Film. Go me. And here it is, Pete Miser's new video "Honest Mistakes" directed by Brad Aldous.

The shoot was fun, but hotter than hell in that studio. The garage is a studio for artists that do all those epic billboards around New York. This is the one they were actually working on when we filmed and now it's finished and on the wall just across the street from the studio. And at the bar/coffee house/restaurant where the release party was held.

This is painted. Click Me! I get bigger

Duh!

Hello My Name Isn't Pete Miser. That's what the sticker said in my thank you package from rapper Pete Miser said. Obviously I'm not Pete Miser. It's Epiphany. (No Davis)

the rest is still UNwritten

Oh and P.S. here's the link to the last NYU student film I did, Trip The Light Fantastic. There's another coming up in November. Yay for work to do!

Is Your Viewfinder Right Side Up?

How do you trust a brain that doesn't know which way is down? 

Has something ever thrown you for a loop? Like shit, here's this new and stunning situation I find myself in. And f*** if I know how to handle it. It literally rocks your world, so that you're seeing things aslant. Pineapples I'm uncomfortable... I'm not into this. But then you start thinking about it. Some time passes and that initial wtf?!?! is resolved into something you can wrap your mind around. Your vision settles into something a bit more right side up.

I see weird shite all the time. I mean, just recently I saw a woman walking her dog in a stroller. Really, lady? Really?! Your dog may be small but it has legs, isn't the point of walking the dog? To let it walk?  Anyway, it was weird. But! What if everyone walked their dogs in strollers? Every time you saw someone walking their dog in a stroller, it wouldn't seem weird. Because you've seen it before. I'm not sure I could ever accept that as right side up; however, that is truly weird shite and not currently the point. 

I'm talking about situations. In my 21 years I've been proposed to by 4 guys only halfway serious - um Thank God- and once in a completely serious fashion. Like dead ass "will you marry me" my initial reaction? Nooo pineapples! Stop. I don't want to. But then we kept talking about it-- the benefits to both of us, the cons as it were. And the idea settled in my mind. It had only been a few days but I was going to do it. How did I ever not think this whole marriage thing was a great idea? I mean, I kind of sort of love him.... Enough that we could make it work, anyway. For about a month my world right side up was in this idiotic plan to get married. (don't judge me, you don't know my life...)

We're an adaptable race. Evolution, survival of the fittest and all that.  There's the norm and then there's the mutation. But after a while that which was a mutation, becomes the norm. Genetically this takes years...centuries...eras? Idk I'm not an anthropologist, but it only takes your brain 3 days to adapt to what you see in the world around you. It took me about three days to decide that getting married (ew...marriage) was a great idea. And it took me three days after my mom freaked, to realize that it really wasn't. I had to put my life back in the right perspective. After I refocused, I couldn't go through with it.

Good thing too, because if I had, I wouldn't be debating the pros and cons of becoming someone else's girlfriend. It took me much longer to get my head around that idea -- which is more of a personal problem than anything to do with adapting-- You want me to be your what? Can we not use that g word...please? But I'm coming around, I guess. I don't cringe anymore when he says girlfriend. Or anything else possessive. I mean my world is still rocking, it probably won't settle until I make a decision one way or the other. I'm working on it. (shut up! you still don't know my life) 

So it takes your brain 3 days to adapt. 3 days to turn the world right side up again. Think on that the next time someone makes your world flip upside down. Sooner rather than later you'll be right side up again.

 the rest is still UNwritten...