Remember when I said to check back to see if the feeling good about life lasts? Well, it has. Things are going well. And I am thanking God.
We're having a house warming. If you didn't get a fb invite, you can't come. I've got the power.
In the meantime. Here's something fun to watch. If I could tag my sister in a blog I would. It's reminiscent of many hours spent at her house, doing nothing but watching this video. Over. and over. and over. and over. etc. etc.
End of the World.
My Body is a Piece of Art
photo by Jaqi Medlock
October 24, 2010
October 23, 2010
Eyes Are the Window to the Soul
My eyes are getting me into a lot of trouble...
I think I have the beginnings of a harem. Mother did teach me to keep my pimp hand strong, so I know there is absolutely nothing wrong with talking to several guys simultaneously - especially since I have no intention of committing to any of them. I'm gun shy...what can I say?
One might assume that some sort of conscious effort on my part goes into all of this. It doesn't. And if you've kept up you now it's not like I'm putting out. Well....not really. Light-hearted tomfoolery is a necessary pleasure. So what is it that keeps them coming around??
Good question. Two weeks ago I was asked, and gave some cheeky remark, "Well obviously it's my stellar looks and personality." But after recent events this past week I had to ask that very same question. What is it about me that sends them in droves?? Because really, I thought I had perfected the Leave Me the Hell Alone face. I polled a panel and the unanimous response was my eyes. I have "flirty" eyes.
My eyes "kill them."
"Please just look this way so I can see your eyes."
"Epiphany, you have the perfect eyes for the role."
I don't know what that means... So, if you are one fascinated with my eyes. Please elaborate what exactly it is about them, so I can go ahead and rectify that. But don't worry. I'll still let that light in my eyes shine for the harem. Those men have a special place in my heart. *aside* It's because they dote on my inner attention whore.
UNwritten.
I think I have the beginnings of a harem. Mother did teach me to keep my pimp hand strong, so I know there is absolutely nothing wrong with talking to several guys simultaneously - especially since I have no intention of committing to any of them. I'm gun shy...what can I say?
One might assume that some sort of conscious effort on my part goes into all of this. It doesn't. And if you've kept up you now it's not like I'm putting out. Well....not really. Light-hearted tomfoolery is a necessary pleasure. So what is it that keeps them coming around??
Good question. Two weeks ago I was asked, and gave some cheeky remark, "Well obviously it's my stellar looks and personality." But after recent events this past week I had to ask that very same question. What is it about me that sends them in droves?? Because really, I thought I had perfected the Leave Me the Hell Alone face. I polled a panel and the unanimous response was my eyes. I have "flirty" eyes.
My eyes "kill them."
"Please just look this way so I can see your eyes."
"Epiphany, you have the perfect eyes for the role."
I don't know what that means... So, if you are one fascinated with my eyes. Please elaborate what exactly it is about them, so I can go ahead and rectify that. But don't worry. I'll still let that light in my eyes shine for the harem. Those men have a special place in my heart. *aside* It's because they dote on my inner attention whore.
UNwritten.
October 19, 2010
Tryna Catch Me Ridin Dirty...
On October 6, 2010 at approximately 3:20 (according to my ticket. It was actually more like 3:10) P.O observed recp using the end doors of a train car to pass from one subway car to another. *gasp* THE HORROR!!
I know, it's terrible. But what can I say? I was tired and that was the fastest way to get through the train without chancing it leaving. But here's some excellent info just FYI - not only is passing between subway cars dangerous it's also illegal. Very illegal, judging by the $75 ticket Officer Jerkface wrote me. And please believe once I realized being cooperative wasn't going to get me a slap on the wrist and a stern warning; I tried everything I could think of. No amount of wit, charm or tears could sway the asshole. And I did try. I cried real tears, dammit. I would have been worried that I was losing my touch but recent events contradict that. I still got it. It's too bad I didn't think to turn my "flirty eyes" on him-- based on evidence I probably would have gotten in more trouble. I am not trying to be arrested, thank you very much.
I sulked for all of 10 minutes about the ticket. I lamented my terrible fortune to any and all who would listen; and then decided to dispute it. Some excellent advice from a NYC Councilwoman "say you were scared of sexual harassment" That is usually a fail safe. But since I was going to be swearing to tell the truth and all that at my little "hearing" I decided to go with borderline facts. I have severe tendonitis in every joint in my lower body. The cold weather sets it off; and I was coming from a long shift at work headed to my second job. "I didn't realize it was illegal, your majesty. I was just looking for a place to sit down. No one offers seats to reasonably healthy looking 20 year olds. I'm not obviously disabled. Please, sir, I can't afford to pay the ticket. Life of a starving artist..." etc. etc. blah blah blah.
Evidently I went to my "hearing" too soon, because Officer Jerkface hadn't submitted his copy of the report. Why that matters I'm not sure, since his is a carbon copy of mine... While I was waiting for my 10 minute date with the hearing officer I witnessed some fairly amusing things.
1) Some man came with a lawyer, requesting to move the hearing date back. You don't need a lawyer for that shit...
2) The security to come into the TAB center is a metal detector and a guard who searches bags. This lady yelled at her son (whom I assume the ticket was issued) about "being treated like dirt" and just "wait til I tell your father..." Really lady?? Because it's not as bad as airport security.
3) I'm becoming much to familiar with government type buildings where they call your number and tell you which window to go to. Some people can't seem to remember what their number is. A little hint. It's the four digits on that piece of paper clutched so tightly in your hand!
I looked bizarrely cute for so early in the morning, I mean it was like 9 am on my day off last week. I waited to go in, I underwent that joke of a hearing, and waited some more for the decision. Do you know what my verdict was?? It said to wait so they could review more pieces of the case. And to call them if I haven't heard in 2 weeks.
Are. You. Kidding. Me? The whole purpose of going on my terms was to get it over with. I can't be bothered with the Transit Authority Bureau. I have shit to do. Duhhh.
Also this past week, Booface's computer was stolen from our apartment when everyone was home. That was scary. That made for the second time in a week I gave my ID to the cops. So when I was out last night, and the cops came striding over to the group of loud, inebriated black kids dancing in the street; I swiftly made my exit stage right. And stood at an appropriate observer's distance. NYPD is tryin to catch me ridin dirty...
On a lighter note. This week I also took a field trip to Strong Island with the man with the Hair. He took us to see the SYTYCD Tour...and then left us there. Luckily we were able to get a ride from Jamaica where the train ended up, because the LIRR doesn't go to Brooklyn after 10:15 PM on the weekend. My So You Think You Can Dance inspired diet lasted all of 3.5 days. When it came tumbling down this evening after I ordered pizza-- Which was delicious, btw-- perhaps I'll reinstate it for tomorrow. I'm also currently free lancing with a former SYTYCD Season 6 star. He has fans...and a posse. I can't really handle that many people, but perhaps I'll grow accustomed.
The rest is still UNwritten.
I know, it's terrible. But what can I say? I was tired and that was the fastest way to get through the train without chancing it leaving. But here's some excellent info just FYI - not only is passing between subway cars dangerous it's also illegal. Very illegal, judging by the $75 ticket Officer Jerkface wrote me. And please believe once I realized being cooperative wasn't going to get me a slap on the wrist and a stern warning; I tried everything I could think of. No amount of wit, charm or tears could sway the asshole. And I did try. I cried real tears, dammit. I would have been worried that I was losing my touch but recent events contradict that. I still got it. It's too bad I didn't think to turn my "flirty eyes" on him-- based on evidence I probably would have gotten in more trouble. I am not trying to be arrested, thank you very much.
I sulked for all of 10 minutes about the ticket. I lamented my terrible fortune to any and all who would listen; and then decided to dispute it. Some excellent advice from a NYC Councilwoman "say you were scared of sexual harassment" That is usually a fail safe. But since I was going to be swearing to tell the truth and all that at my little "hearing" I decided to go with borderline facts. I have severe tendonitis in every joint in my lower body. The cold weather sets it off; and I was coming from a long shift at work headed to my second job. "I didn't realize it was illegal, your majesty. I was just looking for a place to sit down. No one offers seats to reasonably healthy looking 20 year olds. I'm not obviously disabled. Please, sir, I can't afford to pay the ticket. Life of a starving artist..." etc. etc. blah blah blah.
Evidently I went to my "hearing" too soon, because Officer Jerkface hadn't submitted his copy of the report. Why that matters I'm not sure, since his is a carbon copy of mine... While I was waiting for my 10 minute date with the hearing officer I witnessed some fairly amusing things.
1) Some man came with a lawyer, requesting to move the hearing date back. You don't need a lawyer for that shit...
2) The security to come into the TAB center is a metal detector and a guard who searches bags. This lady yelled at her son (whom I assume the ticket was issued) about "being treated like dirt" and just "wait til I tell your father..." Really lady?? Because it's not as bad as airport security.
3) I'm becoming much to familiar with government type buildings where they call your number and tell you which window to go to. Some people can't seem to remember what their number is. A little hint. It's the four digits on that piece of paper clutched so tightly in your hand!
I looked bizarrely cute for so early in the morning, I mean it was like 9 am on my day off last week. I waited to go in, I underwent that joke of a hearing, and waited some more for the decision. Do you know what my verdict was?? It said to wait so they could review more pieces of the case. And to call them if I haven't heard in 2 weeks.
Are. You. Kidding. Me? The whole purpose of going on my terms was to get it over with. I can't be bothered with the Transit Authority Bureau. I have shit to do. Duhhh.
Also this past week, Booface's computer was stolen from our apartment when everyone was home. That was scary. That made for the second time in a week I gave my ID to the cops. So when I was out last night, and the cops came striding over to the group of loud, inebriated black kids dancing in the street; I swiftly made my exit stage right. And stood at an appropriate observer's distance. NYPD is tryin to catch me ridin dirty...
On a lighter note. This week I also took a field trip to Strong Island with the man with the Hair. He took us to see the SYTYCD Tour...and then left us there. Luckily we were able to get a ride from Jamaica where the train ended up, because the LIRR doesn't go to Brooklyn after 10:15 PM on the weekend. My So You Think You Can Dance inspired diet lasted all of 3.5 days. When it came tumbling down this evening after I ordered pizza-- Which was delicious, btw-- perhaps I'll reinstate it for tomorrow. I'm also currently free lancing with a former SYTYCD Season 6 star. He has fans...and a posse. I can't really handle that many people, but perhaps I'll grow accustomed.
The rest is still UNwritten.
October 12, 2010
I haven't written in a while. Mostly because I've had nothing exciting to blog about.
Life goes on. And I'm trying to carpe diem et merda.
I got a ticket on the subway. $75. Perhaps if I get it dismissed I'll tell you the story. If not, I'll probably be too pissed off.
Word of the day: Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious- the biggest word you've ever heard.
UNwritten
Life goes on. And I'm trying to carpe diem et merda.
I got a ticket on the subway. $75. Perhaps if I get it dismissed I'll tell you the story. If not, I'll probably be too pissed off.
Word of the day: Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious- the biggest word you've ever heard.
UNwritten
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